What is Dr. Zubair Khalid's research focus?

Dr. Zubair Khalid specializes in molecular virology, mRNA vaccine development, and computational biology, with a focus on avian pathogens like IBDV and Avian Reovirus.

Where is Dr. Zubair Khalid currently working?

Dr. Zubair Khalid is a Postdoctoral Research Associate at the University of Maryland (UMD), specifically within the Department of Animal and Avian Sciences.

Pet Loss Support: Coping With Grief and Where to Find Help

Name: Pet Loss Support: Coping With Grief and Where to Find Help
Creator: Dr. Zubair Khalid

By Dr. Zubair Khalid, DVM, MS, PhD · 2026-09-19

Grief after the death of a pet is a real bereavement, not a rehearsal for one, and it deserves the same care you would give any other loss. A pet loss support group, a pet loss hotline, or a counselor who understands the human-animal bond can make the difference between carrying this alone and carrying it with help.

If you are in crisis or having thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988 in the United States to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. That line is for people, and it is available to you right now.

This article is educational and is not a substitute for veterinary diagnosis or treatment.

Why Pet Loss Grief Is Real

The bond between a person and an animal is not a lesser version of a human relationship. For many owners it is the relationship that asked the least and gave the most. Research comparing grief after pet loss with grief after human loss found that the vocabulary of bereavement is strikingly similar. In an analysis of 401 online discussion forum posts, words related to anger, sadness, and negative emotion appeared at similar frequencies whether the writer had lost a pet or a person [1]. When researchers compared college students who had lost a pet with those who had lost a person within the past two years, the human loss sample did report higher grief severity, but the effect sizes were small [2].

The strongest predictor of grief severity in that study was not whether the deceased was human or animal. It was closeness to the deceased [2]. That single finding explains a great deal about why some pet losses land like a thunderclap and others pass more gently. It is the depth of the attachment that sets the intensity of the grief.

Attachment to a dog or cat is not a modern affectation. In a study of 369 Italian dog owners, participants tended to humanize their pets, perceiving animals no differently from humans in terms of emotions, needs, and legal rights, and the loss was associated with a negative view of life afterward [3]. In a study of older women living alone, participants scored highly on measures of attachment and loss after a companion animal died [4]. These were women for whom the animal was often the daily companion, the reason for a routine, and sometimes the only warm body in the house.

Disenfranchised Grief: When the World Will Not Let You Mourn

Disenfranchised grief is grief that society does not fully recognize, and pet loss is one of its clearest examples. A qualitative study of 31 animal caregivers identified three central themes: the psychological toll of disenfranchised grief, meaning-making and continued bonds after loss, and the restorative role of social recognition [5]. Participants described emotional burden and isolation, and they described healing that came specifically from having their loss validated by others.

That isolation has a measurable cost. In a study of 103 bereaved dog owners, stress levels were significantly higher than in owners whose dogs were still living, and quality of life was lower in the physical, psychological, and relationship domains [6]. The same study found that quality of life was positively associated with social support, and that a lack of social support had a strong effect on grief reactions [6]. In other words, the people around you shape how hard this is.

The cultural silence around pet death runs deeper than awkwardness. A thanatosociological interview study with 20 small animal veterinarians working in hospice and palliative care found that the veterinarians described a taboo around death in contemporary Western societies, with physical and emotional distancing from dying and pervasive fear and uncertainty when confronting mortality [7]. Those same veterinarians suggested that accompanying a dying pet can challenge that repression and open people to a more reflective relationship with death [7]. Pet loss sits at the edge of a larger cultural discomfort, and that is part of why so many people grieve quietly.

The veterinary profession is not immune. A study using the Pet Bereavement Questionnaire-Redux found that 13.0 percent of veterinary professionals were classified as positive for significant grief after losing their own companion animal, compared with 28.8 percent of the general population, and veterinarians scored lower on all five indicators of grief intensity [8]. Even so, a substantial minority reported unmet needs. Twenty-five percent did not feel supported, and 30 percent felt misunderstood [8]. If the people who euthanize pets for a living can feel unsupported in their own grief, it is no wonder that owners often do.

What Research Shows About Grief After Euthanasia

Euthanasia is the most common way that pets die in veterinary practice, and it carries a particular emotional weight because the owner participates in the decision. The research here is unusually clear, and much of it is reassuring.

Guilt Is Common, and It Is Not the Same as Regret

The Pet Bereavement Questionnaire measures grief across three factors: grief, guilt, and anger [9]. In a Spanish validation study of 333 participants, around 70 percent reported signs of intense bereavement on the grief scale, with higher means among women [9]. Guilt is a normal component of that picture, not evidence that you did something wrong.

A study of 29 dog owners interviewed in the two weeks after euthanasia found five common phases in the initial parting process: the decision to euthanize, anticipation and mental preparation, burial, mourning, and thinking about a new pet [10]. All participants moved through these phases, with only small individual differences [10]. If you are cycling through the decision over and over in your head, you are doing something that nearly every owner does.

Satisfaction With the Euthanasia Experience Is Separable From Grief

One of the most useful findings for owners is that satisfaction and grief are not the same thing. In a survey of 2,354 owners who had experienced companion animal euthanasia within the past ten years, participants reported high levels of satisfaction overall [11]. Satisfaction was associated with how administration was handled (payment and paperwork), emotional support, follow-up care, and care for the pet's remains [11]. Grief, by contrast, was associated with the number of euthanasias the owner had previously experienced, the type of human-animal bond, whether the euthanasia was emergent, and the emotional support received [11].

That distinction matters because it means you can feel that the death was handled well and still be devastated. It also means the things that reduce grief and the things that increase satisfaction overlap but are not identical. Emotional support shows up in both lists.

Communication Changes the Grief Experience

A study adapting several instruments for veterinary counseling services found that when owners felt involved by the veterinarian in decision-making, they perceived the veterinarian as more empathetic, and when the veterinarian was perceived as empathetic and decision-making was shared, owners' bereavement distress and regrets were reduced [12]. The same study found that the negative dimensions of bereavement (grief, guilt, anger, intrusive thoughts, and decisional regrets) are tightly linked to each other [12].

This is one of the few places where an owner has real leverage. If you are facing an end-of-life decision now, ask questions. Ask what to expect. Ask what the options are. Ask for time to think if time exists. A study of veterinary professionals in southwestern Ontario found that while these professionals strive to be meaningful sources of support and use a range of supportive practices, there is room for them to better explore clients' needs, expectations, and feelings, including offering more grief-related resources and access to professional counseling [13]. You may need to ask for those resources directly.

Anticipatory Grief Is Its Own Experience

Owners of elderly or seriously ill pets often grieve before the death. A study of 393 owners of an elderly or seriously ill companion animal found that caregiver burden, anticipatory grief, and quality of life are distinct constructs, not interchangeable labels for the same distress [14]. Cluster analysis identified four owner profiles: distressed, resilient, non-distressed, and owners experiencing strain due to other influences [14]. These groups differed in how they considered euthanasia and in their emotional functioning, including stress and depressive symptoms [14].

The practical takeaway is that caring for a declining pet is exhausting in a way that is separate from grief, and both deserve attention. If you are the person managing medications, cleaning up accidents, and watching for the next bad day, your strain is real even before the loss happens.

How Owners Actually Cope

A national survey of 340 American companion animal owners asked how they found comfort after euthanizing a pet. The results are worth reading closely because they show how few people use formal support.

Coping method	Percentage of owners
Mourned privately	74.7%
Sought social support	58.2%
Adopted a new companion animal	32.1%
Relied on faith or prayer	12.4%
Participated in a support group	0.9%

Source: Park and Royal, 2020 [15].

Nearly three in four owners mourned privately, and fewer than one in a hundred joined a support group [15]. The authors concluded that because most clients who euthanize a companion animal mourn privately, the veterinary community must work toward identifying and providing appropriate, accessible social resources for bereaved owners to use if they wish [15].

That 0.9 percent figure is not a statement about what helps. It is a statement about what people can find. Private mourning is not a failure. Many people grieve well in private, and the study's own framing treats social support as an option rather than a requirement. But if private mourning is not working for you, the near-absence of support group participation in that sample suggests you may have to look harder than you expected to find one.

Adopting a new pet was more common than faith or prayer in that sample, at 32.1 percent [15]. There is no timeline that makes this right or wrong. Some owners find that a new animal helps them heal. Others find that it delays the grief. The research does not settle this question, and you should treat your own readiness as the deciding factor.

Where to Find Pet Loss Support

Formal pet loss support exists, and much of it is free. Veterinary teaching hospitals and shelters run some of the most established programs in the country.

Pet Loss Support Groups

A pet loss support group brings together people who have lost animals, usually facilitated by a social worker, counselor, or trained volunteer. The Seattle Animal Shelter runs a pet loss support group as part of its community resources [16]. The University of Tennessee Veterinary Social Work program offers a pet loss support group [17]. These groups are typically free and open to the public, and many now meet online, which removes the geographic barrier that used to limit access.

If you have never been to a support group, the format is usually simple. People introduce themselves, say something about the animal they lost, and listen. You do not have to speak. You can attend once and never return. The value is in sitting with people who do not need the loss explained to them.

Pet Loss Hotlines

A pet loss hotline offers a conversation with a trained listener, usually by phone. The Tufts University Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine operates a pet loss support helpline staffed by trained volunteers [18]. These lines are typically free, and they exist specifically for this kind of grief. If you are not ready to sit in a room with strangers, a phone call can be a gentler first step.

Veterinary School and Hospital Resources

Veterinary teaching hospitals often maintain pet loss resources for their clients and for the public. The University of Florida Small Animal Hospital provides pet loss support information [19]. Cornell University's College of Veterinary Medicine maintains a pet loss resources and support page [20]. Best Friends Animal Society publishes resources for coping with the loss of a pet [21]. These pages typically include reading lists, hotline numbers, support group listings, and guidance for talking to children.

Start with the institution that cared for your pet if you have one. Your veterinarian's office may have a list of local resources, and the study of veterinary professionals found that offering grief-related resources and access to professional counseling is an area where practices can improve [13]. It is reasonable to ask your clinic what they recommend.

Online Communities and Memorials

Online forums and memorial pages serve a real function for people whose grief is not recognized in their daily lives. A study of virtual memorials found that online memorials allow bereaved owners to validate the lives of their animal companions, particularly for people who are isolated in their grief [22]. The same research notes that disenfranchised grief can lead to isolation and withdrawal from social connection, and that memorials in cyberspace can counter that [22].

The forum analysis mentioned earlier found that pet loss and human loss generate similar language [1]. If you read a pet loss forum and feel understood, that is not a coincidence. The emotional content is comparable.

Professional Counseling

Sometimes the right resource is a licensed mental health professional. A study of 137 adults who had experienced pet loss found that 55 percent exceeded the cutoff on the Inventory of Complicated Grief, 52 percent on a depression measure, 40 percent on an anxiety measure, and 32 percent on an insomnia measure [23]. The same study found that participants who reported childhood trauma had significantly higher scores on complicated grief, depression, anxiety, and insomnia [23].

Those numbers describe a non-clinical sample of people who volunteered for a survey, so they should not be read as a prediction about any individual. But they do show that clinically significant distress after pet loss is common enough that seeking professional help is a normal response, not an overreaction.

Grief That Needs a Mental Health Professional

Most people recover from grief within a year, and grief is a process rather than a state [24]. Some people do not, and that is when professional support matters most.

The DSM-5 model of grief has been validated in owners of deceased pets. A study of 395 adults who were impaired during bereavement found that grief symptoms cohered into the symptom clusters proposed by the DSM-5, driven by a higher-order factor and equivalent across gender [25]. People with disordered grief showed more depression, loneliness, sleep difficulties, negative religious coping, and alcohol or drug coping than the rest of the sample [25].

That last finding is the one to watch. If you are drinking more, sleeping badly, feeling persistently lonely, or turning to substances to get through the day, those are signs that grief has moved into territory where a mental health professional can help. The same study supports applying the DSM-5 grief model to pet owners, which means the framework your therapist already uses applies to this loss [25].

Consider reaching out to a professional if any of the following describe you:

You are still unable to function at work or at home many months after the loss.
You are using alcohol or drugs to manage the pain.
You feel that life is not worth living, or you have thoughts of harming yourself.
You have a history of trauma, depression, or anxiety that the loss has reactivated.
You feel completely alone in your grief and have no one who takes it seriously.

If you are in crisis, call or text 988 in the United States to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Helping Children Through Pet Loss

Children grieve pet loss, and they often do it differently from adults. They may ask the same questions repeatedly, seem fine one day and inconsolable the next, or express grief through play rather than words. The research base on children and pet loss specifically is thin, so the guidance here is general and should be adapted to your child's age and temperament.

A few principles hold up well. Use clear, honest language. Saying a pet was "put to sleep" can create fear of bedtime, and saying a pet "went away" can create fear of abandonment. Tell your child what happened in simple terms and answer the questions they actually ask rather than the ones you expect. Let them see you grieve, because a child who watches a parent mourn and continue functioning learns that grief is survivable.

Include children in memorial rituals if they want to participate. Drawing a picture, planting something, or choosing a photo can give a child a concrete way to express something they cannot yet say. Do not rush to replace the pet before the child has had a chance to mourn, unless the child is asking for it.

If a child's distress persists, interferes with school or sleep, or includes statements about self-harm, involve a pediatric mental health professional.

Surviving Pets After a Loss

When one animal in a household dies, the animals left behind can change. A surviving pet may search the house, vocalize more, eat less, sleep more, or become clingy. These are behavior changes, not grief in the human sense, and they usually settle with time and routine.

Keep the surviving pet's schedule as consistent as possible. Feed at the same times, walk at the same times, and keep the same sleeping arrangements. Give extra attention without forcing it. If the surviving pet was closely bonded to the one who died, expect a period of adjustment that may last weeks.

If a surviving pet stops eating, shows signs of pain, or has a behavior change that persists or worsens, contact your veterinarian. A sudden change in an animal's behavior can have a medical cause, and it should be evaluated rather than assumed to be emotional.

Memorial Ideas

Memorials give grief a place to go. The research on online memorials found that they validate the lives of animal companions and help counter the isolation of disenfranchised grief [22]. That principle applies to any memorial, online or physical.

Options that owners commonly find meaningful:

A private online memorial page or a post in a pet loss community
A planted tree, shrub, or garden bed in a favorite spot
A paw print, clay impression, or lock of fur kept in a visible place
A photo book or framed portrait
A donation to a shelter or rescue in the pet's name
A memorial stone or marker at home
A ritual on the anniversary, such as lighting a candle or visiting a favorite walking route

There is no correct memorial and no timeline for creating one. Some people do it the week after. Some wait a year. Some never make anything physical and carry the memory privately, which the coping research shows is the most common path of all [15].

What Is Still Uncertain

The research on pet loss has real gaps. Most of the studies cited here rely on self-selected survey participants, which means people who felt strongly enough to respond are likely overrepresented. The samples skew toward women, toward dog owners, and toward Western countries. The study of older women living alone had only twelve participants complete questionnaires and nine provide interviews, so its findings are suggestive rather than generalizable [4].

The relationship between adopting a new pet and grief resolution is not settled. The national survey found that 32.1 percent of owners adopted after euthanasia, but it did not measure whether adoption helped or hindered the grieving process [15]. The five-phase model of the parting process was drawn from 29 interviews in one cultural context [10].

What is well established is that pet loss grief is real, that closeness to the animal predicts its intensity, that social support protects against the worst of it, and that a meaningful minority of people experience clinically significant distress that warrants professional care [25][23][2][6].

Limitations and When to Contact a Veterinarian

This article addresses human grief after the death of a pet. It does not replace an individual conversation with a veterinarian about your animal's health, and it does not replace care from a mental health professional for your own distress.

Contact a veterinarian promptly if a surviving pet in your household stops eating, shows signs of pain, has a sudden behavior change, or has any symptom that concerns you. Behavior changes in animals can have medical causes.

Contact a mental health professional or call or text 988 in the United States if you have thoughts of harming yourself, if you are using alcohol or drugs to cope, if you cannot function months after the loss, or if your grief feels like it is getting worse rather than changing over time.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does pet loss grief last?

Most people recover adequately within a year after a loss, though grief is a process rather than a fixed state [24]. There is no standard timeline, and the intensity depends heavily on how close you were to the animal [2].

Is it normal to feel guilty after euthanizing a pet?

Yes. Guilt is one of the three core factors measured in validated pet bereavement questionnaires, alongside grief and anger [9]. Feeling involved in the decision and perceiving your veterinarian as empathetic is associated with reduced bereavement distress and regret [12].

Should I get another pet right away?

There is no rule. About a third of owners in a national survey adopted a new companion animal after euthanasia, but the study did not measure whether that helped or hindered grief [15]. Your readiness is the deciding factor.

Do pets grieve when another pet dies?

Animals left behind can show behavior changes such as searching, vocalizing, or eating less. These changes usually settle with time and routine. If a behavior change persists or worsens, have your veterinarian evaluate the animal for a medical cause.

How do I help my child cope with the death of a pet?

Use clear, honest language rather than euphemisms, answer the questions your child actually asks, and let them see you grieve in a manageable way. Include them in memorial rituals if they want to participate, and seek professional help if distress interferes with school or sleep.

Are pet loss support groups free?

Many are. Support groups run by veterinary social work programs and animal shelters are typically free and open to the public, and many now meet online [16][17].

What is a pet loss hotline?

A pet loss hotline connects you by phone with a trained listener who understands companion animal bereavement. University veterinary programs operate some of the longest-running helplines [18].

When should I see a therapist for pet loss grief?

Consider professional support if you cannot function months after the loss, if you are using alcohol or drugs to cope, if you have thoughts of harming yourself, or if a history of trauma or mental illness has been reactivated by the loss [25][23]. Call or text 988 in the United States if you are in crisis.